Raising Maine

Last night I attended my first Parent/Teacher conference this school year with my son’s teacher. I’m not sure how others feel about these meetings, but I love them. I love getting the opportunity to sit one-on-one with the teacher and being able to talk completely about my child. I love hearing about my child’s accomplishments that I am not there to witness myself. I am delighted to see how this educated person views my child and how it relates to my opinions.

I began to wonder if the pride and joy that I was feeling was truly about my pride and joy or if it was about me. Was I feeling such happiness because my child was doing so well or because I had done so well in raising him and teaching him at home? (By the way, I do not take full credit for my children. My husband is a great father and has played a big role in who they are.) Is it my need for praise and confirmation that is really the issue here? Do I lack that much confidence in my mothering abilities that I require someone else to tell me that I am a good mother?

Then came the subject of pushing my child to his full potential. I have always tried to give my son information about anything that interested him. I want my son to be able to see that the world is his to take and that anything is possible for him. He must only desire it and have the determination to move forward until he seizes it.

So as I learn about the advancements my child is making, I look forward. Onward and upward, right? But am I shoving my child forward and pressuring him to be someone he isn’t? He has always excelled and if he is pushed too far, he might not. Will that completely deflate him and cause him to not be as eager to learn anymore? What about his classmates? How will they look at this boy who is learning at a pace much faster than them? Will he be ridiculed or become an outcast?

I tell my kids that no one can be the best at everything. We all have our own gifts and talents. We need to recognize them and use them to the best of our abilities. Do I really believe this if I am always asking more from my children?

I would like to believe that I am just more aware of my children’s capabilities in certain areas. I have been with this boy from day one. I am the one who first read a book to him. I am the one who taught him to count. I see his passion for knowledge and I am afraid if I don’t help him hold onto it he will lose it. I want him to take that passion and become the man he is meant to be, whatever that may be.


By the way his sister is a pretty smart and talented cookie as well. More about her some other time.