Raising Maine

I don’t know if any of you saw this, but it’s been a real issue in my house for several days now. I sometimes watch AFV with my 6 year old, despite feeling like Tom Bergeron is one of the most obnoxious people on the planet, and most of the “funny” on the show isn’t funny unless you are a 12 year old boy. My daughter gets a good laugh out of some of the animal videos – for her, a cat grabbing a food dish from another cat is a real hoot. However, we weren’t laughing the other night.

Now, I do my best not to judge other mothers unfairly, but I’m going to spout off. The $10,000 winner this week was a video made by a parent I’d like to say some curse words about, who apparently thought it was amusing and appropriate to sell her son’s dignity for a chance at some cash. The boy in the video was sitting on the toilet, extremely frightened and distressed because he had an intestinal flu and couldn’t stop pooping. In the video, he was crying - wailing really - and saying he was afraid because he just couldn’t stop. My daughter was alarmed. She kept saying, “Mama, that’s not funny. Why are people laughing at that boy? What’s going to happen to him?” She has been asking me for days, asking what happened to that boy and why that Mama thought it was funny that her boy was sick and scared.

When Tom Bergeron announced that this particular video had won the $10,000, the boy did not seem pleased. He seemed nervous, embarrassed, and deeply uncomfortable. His mother was elated. I was disgusted. Not only did his parents think it was okay to exploit their son’s vulnerability, but apparently the public agreed. The audience voted on this.

I know that some parents exploit their children. I heard about the balloon boy. I have heard about child stars and athletes taken advantage of by their parents for their money. In my work I have encountered families with parents who prostitute their children for drugs. People hear about these things and agree with me that they are horrible.

So, why then do so many people think it’s funny to videotape a child in a private and vulnerable moment and show it to millions of people on a nationally televised show? If he was videotaped in other private moments – like showering or dressing, that could be considered child porn, under some circumstances. Why do so many people want to reward this with a pile of money? I hope the family uses that money to pay for the therapy he’s going to need after all this. Maybe if the kid felt that the video was funny, and he agreed to submit it, that would be another story. I don’t believe this kid consented. He wasn’t laughing and he wasn’t smiling. I believe this kid was harmed by this. He was violated by this, and his parents made it happen.

I’m really disturbed that we live in a culture where it’s considered okay to do something like this. I’m really grateful that my 6 year old apparently has more compassion, common sense, and empathy than a large segment of the adult population. It’s my job as a mother to help her hold on to those qualities, and I’ll do everything I can to make that happen.